[onehalf] Self-respect is a worthy pursuit although not many of us know how to practice it. Heck! I didn’t start practicing self-respect until age 31 and as you can imagine, I too struggled with self-esteem and confidence issues. Simply because I did not fully comprehend what self-respect is. But I do now.
Self-respect comes down to two things, either you like and accept your person, strengths and skills as well as your weaknesses or you don’t like yourself and “compare” your abilities and success with others, which never yields a positive result. In a nutshell, self-respect is recognizing and honoring the qualities and characteristics of your strengths and skills. In three words: High Emotional Intelligence.
Unfortunately, we’re not taught to tune in to our core to analyze our strengths and skills. Instead, we’re shown tools like Meyers Brigg and other personality tests to help us to recognize our person. Almost all of us are programmed to look externally to define our identity. Not only do we seek help from personality tests but we look to our friends, parents, colleagues and employers too. But sadly, we never think to stop along the way to ask ourselves: “What attributes make-up my self-image?”
Is it any wonder we lack confidence and self-respect and have self-esteem issues? Not that there is anything wrong with turning to someone for help. But honestly, how is anyone but you going to know who you are and what makes you tick?
Sure! some people can be objective and aware of personality traits: strengths, skills, values and needs, such as a life coach. But most people (95%) are more likely to tell you what you’re doing wrong rather than what you’re doing right.
How to Build Self-Respect
1. Vocabulary. Most of us don’t have a robust lexicon when it comes to emotional intelligence.
[/onehalf] [onehalflast]Instead, we use general words and phrases to describe our abilities. For example, most people when asked to describe themselves will say: I’m a hard worker. I’m compassionate. I’m honest and caring. I’m a mother/father, ect.. Very few of us have a healthy vocabulary that encompasses personal development and use character traits, strengths and values to describe our person. But, I guarantee you, if you research words that describe strengths, skills and values, and become familiar with them and there meaning, you’ll start to recognize these traits within yourself.
2. Inventory Achievements & Failures. Make a list of your accomplishments and failures and assess them. Look for strengths and skills you used to achieve your goals. Weaknesses are also important to understand. You may come to the realization that it is in your best interest to develop a weakness or accept it as is and move on.
3. Leverage Strengths and Skills. Use them to create an exciting and rewarding life. Get involved with activities which utilize your abilities. Set goals that focus on your talents and gifts. And never stop honoring the qualities and characteristics of your strengths and skills to build undeniable self-respect.
Self-Respect comes with the greatest gift one could ever receive and that’s not giving a shit about what other people say or think about you. You will take no offence to any criticism and judgement while still being open to receive golden information.