The ABC’s of Self-Esteem
Bring your honesty, an open happy heart, and love of yourself when working on The ABC’s of Self-Esteem and it will lead you to extraordinary change in your self-image.
Here we go…
Accepting yourself first is the fastest and easiest way to accepting others. Being self-conscious of your insecurities will lead you to judge others for the same thing. It’s a natural reaction. Work on accepting yourself first and accepting others will be a breeze.
Believe in yourself. That’s what counsellors, mentors, and we life coaches impart upon you. We inspire and motivate you to foster your natural strengths and to leverage those qualities, to reach your full potential. We see those qualities in you. You need to believe you have them in you, too.
Creativity is the stamp of authenticity. Everyone has one. Being creative is about much more than just art. Its your personal touch to creative solutions. How you put things together. It’s connecting all of the dots that come from inspiration to produce something unique – regardless of what it is. Use your imagination. Be original. Express yourself and be creatively you.
Determined. Ever notice that people who shine bright, stand tall, and are full of confidence are also determined? If you’re not determined to work toward something that adds value to your life, you’re probably wasting a lot of time wishing you did. Stop wasting time, get determined and go after your ambitions.
Eye contact builds strong relationships, the kind you want. Making eye contact allows you to share your thoughts, emotions, and state of mind. It establishes real connections and builds trust with others. If you’re uncomfortable when making eye contact, focus both of your eyes on their one eye. Push through the discomfort. The reward, a real connection.
Focus. Distractions are everywhere, you can’t hide from them, especially not from insecurity. Insecurity steals your attention and selfishly uses it all up. The best way to keep focused is to be an observer in your life. Just observe what is happening in front of you at all times. Take it all in. Take in the sights and smells. Watch how others interact with one another. Listen to how they speak to each other. And when you do lose your focus to negativity, just recognize it. Acknowledge that it’s just your negative self-talk, and go back to focusing on what is happening in front of you.
Gratitude increases your energy, optimism, and overall wellbeing. In other words, gratitude makes you feel good. Try it! Take a moment to look around at your surroundings. Look beyond the materialistic things; look for the simple things that life offers. Look at the beauty in nature. The air we breathe. Think over the past 24-hours for moments where you were grateful. Notice your energy change.
Happiness is a mindset, not an end goal. Practicing gratitude is only one way of reaching the state of happiness. Another way to achieve happiness is by jumping up and down on the spot for 30-seconds. Do it now. You’ll notice an instant change in your mindset as you feel for happiness.
Independence is the ultimate goal. No matter what culture, race, religion, country you were born in, every person, even you, is striving to reach for independence. Be honest with yourself. Develop self-trust. Be self-reliant and allow your own thoughts to judge your experiences. It will lead you to be self-motivated and to your full potential. Anything less, and you run the risk of relying on others for validation, stripping you of your independence and self-esteem.
Joy. It’s in everything you do. If you can’t find it, it’s because you have an expectation of what it should be. Let go of your preconceived notions; that’s not what joy is. Fall into whatever you’re doing. Get lost in the moment and let joy wrap around you.
Kindness, and self-compassion. Use gentle language with yourself. Sooth and comfort your soul when something unpleasant happens. Practice self-awareness to catch your negative self-talk and replace it with self-compassion. You’re human. Give yourself permission to be one.
Love yourself unconditionally. Don’t grieve characteristics you never had. Look at the ones you do have and appreciate them. Look into the mirror and acknowledge them. By doing so, it changes your physiology and it will make you shine so bright that others will want some.
Mindfulness – accept what cannot be changed. Create space between you and your thoughts as if you’re watching yourself, and allow your thoughts to pass without judgement. Mindfulness is a state of being that helps reduce stress and anxiety, and lets you just be.
Nurture your personal needs. Ultimately, fulfilling them is your responsibility. Expecting someone to satisfy your needs puts you on a path to feeling empty. Just remember, everyone is looking for the same thing. Can two people looking for the same things satisfy each other’s needs? By satisfying your personal needs, it leaves you with a little extra to spare.
Open your mind. Learn something new. Don’t just think outside the box, break out of it altogether. The world is full of opportunities waiting to be grabbed. But if you live inside your comfort zone, too afraid to make mistakes, you’ll never be able to reach for them. Here’s something I often share with clients. “Our greatest passions lie on untraveled terrain.” Don’t assume you won’t enjoy something until you try it. Open your mind. The opportunities are endless.
Patience is a virtue and a must. The best things in life come with time. Patience and commitment toward your personal development will lead you to reaching your full potential.
Quality not Quantity, that’s my motto. Do you focus on the amount of strengths, skills, and gifts you have or on the quality and depth of them? It’s a false assumption to think the more strengths you have the better off you will be. Take the 2-3 of your prominent strengths and make them amazing.
Resilience comes with perspective. The perspective you have of yourself and of life. It’s hard to be resilient if you don’t trust yourself, undervalue your gifts, and think poorly of your abilities. Make a point to think of your accomplishments and your contribution to it. Do just that, and next time life throws you a curve ball you will feel empowered and resilient to beat it.
Sincerity. Be sincere. There’s nothing worse than coming home at the end of the day feeling like a hypocrite. It makes it hard to look into the mirror knowing you’re a fraud. Speak from the heart, live by your values, and let your authenticity guide you.
Tenacity gets you to the finish line. It fuels you with positive emotions and wonderful compliments. It boosts your confidence and self-esteem to new levels. Tenacity is an attribute you already have. All you need to do is turn it on by making a commitment to yourself to take whatever you start to the finish line — Every single time, even if the outcome is a perceived failure.
Unusual is the same as original. Giving yourself permission to be unusual (original) allows you to open up and be yourself. Many of us are so concerned to fit in we become afraid of our originality. Let your authenticity guide you in your choices and just be you. You will instantly notice a lightness within your heart and skip in your step.
Vivid means strikingly bright or intense and full of life. When do you last remember living life with this feeling? Self-esteem is built on your choice of how to approach and live life. Everyone has areas in their life that can easily be vivid (e.g., family, career, spiritual practices, hobbies, etc). Start seeing the vividness in your life and watch the brightness and intensity spread throughout.
Wonder. Live with wonder. It means to observe, perceive, and invite experiences into your life with a spirit of wonder. It means to free yourself of your opinion, judgement, and preferences and to allow a sense of wonder to shape your life. It means to allow joy, happiness, and miracles to be a part of who you are.
Xuberant. The spelling is incorrect. I know. I did it on purpose. Sometimes being in the moment and EXCITED about life also means having to break the rules (nothing illegal, of course). I did it because it adds ZEST to The ABC’s of Self-Esteem. So by borrowing the letter ‘e’ from “exuberant” to create a new word “Excitement” for no rhyme nor reason other than to demonstrate how easy it is to add spontaneity to life, even if it makes no sense. Plus there isn’t a word that starts with “x” that fits the spot. So it’s a sneaky way to keep writing the ABC’s without leaving out a letter. So!! Now that you know the truth why I did it, did it put a smile on your face? Be honest. Decide right now, for no rhyme nor reason, to be exuberant.
Young at heart, what a beautiful place to be. It’s a sheer sign of purity. A pure heart is free from all of the negative influences in our world. You might be wondering if it is even possible to achieve that. And I say, YES, it is possible for you, and for everyone to achieve. If you just spend more time focusing on you and less time focusing on everyone else, being young at heart will be within reach.
Zest is what you add to life when you apply the ABC’s to Self-Esteem.
There you have it, The ABC’s of Self-Esteem.
Enjoy the journey…