Tag Archives: inner child

Building Self-Trust

Building Self-Trust

Everyday I meet someone who struggles with self-trust. They come to me with hopes of learning self-trust so that they can make and commit to decisions to move forward in their life.

Bruno Showed Me How To Heal My Inner Child

How to get back onto your life path

Just like that it happened again – I lost my way. I must have taken a detour onto another path. For the past several months I’ve been working on a number of new projects as well as doing my own thing. I am writing a new book, preparing for seminars, and developing a new program for a high school among other things. With so much happening all around me I knew it was just a matter of time before something would take me off the path.

Towards the end of February I suspected that I had taken a wrong turn somewhere. I try not to react when I get this feeling. I believe that wrong turns are open doors for us to peak into. Sometimes an open door leads to another door and behind it is an opportunity, and sometimes it leads to another door and another and before you know it you are onto a new path. I recall saying to myself to take a peak and come right back. But I found another open door that led to a door with multiple doors – that’s when I got lost.

Behind each door were new and exciting opportunities. They all seemed like fun and within the realm of my expertise. But it wasn’t exactly what I envisioned or planned for. But it was close enough – “Shoot for the stars” I reminded myself. Me just like many of you, I got sucked-up by the attraction to instant gratification, prestige and status. I swallowed the bate.

A New Beginning

This path looks a lot different than the one I was on not long ago. I don’t feel like myself and I am doing things I would not normally do. I feel my insides screaming: Warning – Warning – Warning! But I ignored the warnings. Nothing I do feels right. It feels like everything I do I am doing it because I believe it is what I should do to get more of the same, and nothing for me. I even avoid talking to me.

This is definitely not the right path. “How do I get back?”

It was long over due. I took a timeout. I shut down for a few hours and reconnected with me. I turned everything off: computer, television, and people. And after a few minutes of breathing I was able to turn down the noise – the constant wave of chatter. And there he stood patiently waiting for my arrival.

A familiar happy face finally appeared. I smiled back and said, “hello, where have you been?” “No, where have you been”, he said. It did not take us long to get reacquainted. Within a few minutes he drew a map and showed me the way. He also pointed at where I went wrong and why. After spending quality time with each other, he provided the encouragement and support i need for the next leg of my life journey. His final words to me were: “Don’t be gone for too long next time.”

It feels great to be back.

I had to take care of things and act responsible, it was the responsible thing to do

Everything happened so fast. One moment I was a child playing, and in the next I had to play adult. It happened so quick I didn’t even notice. Looking back I didn’t get to do what most kids did. I had to take care of things and act responsible, it was the responsible thing to do.

I forgot what its like to have fun. I was too focused on being responsible. I tried to please too many people to prove that I could and I forgot about me. Yeah, I did forget about me. I left me behind many years ago. But somehow I feel that is still I today.

I listened to those around me. Some were encouraging and some not. I heard some stuff so often I started to believe it, its hard not to. Then one thing led to another, and to another, and here I am. But it just doesn’t seem right. I feel there is so much more – much more to be discovered.

I feel the child in me want to play. It screams, won’t you come out to play? I can’t play I must be responsible and I’m too old to play. Am I – Am I really that old that I cannot play?

We all have an inner child. It is also know as your “higher consciousness” “divine self” and a few other terms. It is the creative, playful part of the soul that is often left behind in a traumatic experience. Anything from abandonment to abuse could create a traumatic experience and leave an unhealed wound within the soul. This can lead the inner child part of us to react to certain situations, and block our creativity.

The process of connecting with your inner child and opening the door for it to explore these feeling and the world can change your life in unbelievable ways. The process is quite simple but for many extremely difficult. It means looking into a mirror and acknowledging your existence.

Below is a short dialogue to begin the process of acknowledging your inner child. Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. You may want to journal the experience.

1. Look into a mirror and make eye contact with yourself.
2. Begin by saying the following:
3. I know I haven’t been there for you, and I am sorry
4. I want to make it up to you
5. I didn’t know you existed but now I know and I want to build a relationship with you
6. With time I can prove to you that I will never leave you again
7. You don’t need to be afraid anymore, I will protect you
8. You are safe to play again.
9. I love you

The Safety And Comfort Of Your Inner Child

Everybody including you has the power to influence change within your life. What you believe to be true about your current situation and how you should act is a false illusion based on what you think will satisfy your emotions. 

The images you envision of your current day situation are distorted images that were created to validate your emotions – A defense mechanism you deployed so not to be hurt by the outside world. You create a safe haven to protect self from the outside world, believing this what you have to do. Each time you retreat to this safe place, the walls become thicker as you become more comfortable with the false feeling of safety and soon you will become too afraid to leave the comfort of your safety for fear that you will be hurt again. 

Eventually you will forget that you created this safe haven until that day comes when you feel disconnected from the person that lives inside of you – Your inner child.

Only you have the power to bring down your protective wall by learning the truth about what you believe. Challenge what you believe with facts, not an illusion of what you want to think to be true or you will barricade your inner child forever, missing out on the true meaning of life. 

Bruno LoGreco Life Coach & Mentor 

Abandonment – The Emotional Scar To Your Inner Child

My childhood memories are quite fond. I have memories of when I was 2 years old, just a baby. I remember my grandparents visiting from Italy; they took me for a walk down the street. Some memories are only still shots, a moment in time. Some memories are more detailed as I grow older. I remember my brother locking my mother into the cellar. That happened in the middle of a 70′s winter. I clearly remember the consequences that followed too. I was only 3 years old.

Life Coaching Clients who go through my self-awareness program will tell you I preface their first session by saying, “Nobody is to blame for what you may uncover during your sessions. You are an adult now, and you must accept responsibility for your actions; you can no longer look for someone to blame for how you feel or for what you do. You should also know your parents did the best they could with the tools that were passed down to them. It’s a cycle that many, including you don’t even know you’re in.” Most clients who work with me are ready to learn what many people fear: The truth behind who they truly are.

Although I have many fond childhood memories, I also have the typical memories of: Abandonment, neglect, shame, and guilt among others, no different than anybody else. There is one particular memory of abandonment that will trigger my self-chatter. On command I could alter the direction of my journey and cast a shield to protect my inner child from experiencing another blow of abandonment. A few years ago, if I foresaw the possibility of experiencing the emotion of abandonment I altered the direction of my journey to protect my inner child instantly but had no clue that I was doing it. This behavior prevented me from enjoying my life to the fullest for fear I would be abandoned again.

The wounds of an inner child are very real and very much alive in everyone. The scar is deep, and the emotion is real. The feeling the inner child is left with when it’s not healed is isolation, alone and disconnected from the adult. People who experience depression, or experience troubled relationships, or ongoing life dissatisfaction may be feeling the remains of a wounded inner child. The pain to severe and the scar to deep for many, they often run from this experience never healing the emotional scar, and the cycle continues from generation to generation.

Fortunately I am aware of my inner child – from time to time he likes to make himself known by reacting strongly to certain events leaving me left with the same feeling as when I was a child. When my inner child surfaces I allow him to go through the process of feeling – basking in his emotions as I the adult Bruno validate his feelings. Suppressing his emotions would be denying his existence – he does exist. In the past when I did not validate his emotions he would seek validation externally. He was never direct with whatever he was feeling, he disguised his emotions within a joke or a general statement, but listened carefully for the validation. Boy oh boy – I don’t need to tell you what would happen if he wasn’t validated.

You are allowed to feel down and blue, little guy, it did happen and you have every right to feel blue. You’re safe and everything will be okay. Tomorrow is a new day. ☺