Who Am I?
Who am “i“, who is “self“? Am “i” all the experiences; the pleasurable and the uneventful? Am “i” all the good which has happened to me? Am “i” all the bad which has happened to me? Am “i” what “i” believe “self” can and cannot be? Am “i” what “i” think and what “i” feel? Am “i” what “i” believe and what “i” imagine to be based on my history? Am “i” what “i” see in the mirror (likes and dislikes)? Am “i” only what “i” can see?
A true understanding of the word “ego” is all inclusive both the good the bad the nice and the ugly. It is everything including the saboteur who creates “self” doubt and the “self” limiting beliefs stopping “self” from new experiences and from growth. And it is also the unconditional loving, helping and caring person that “i” wants to be. It doesn’t matter if “i” is a superstar or if “i” is a saint, whether “i” is shy and quiet or if “i” is loud and obnoxious. “i” is ego and that is what “self” sees.
But what if “i” had nothing happen; “i” doesn’t have much of a history – nothing good, nothing bad, who would “i” be? What if “i” isn’t defined by history, not by the pleasurable nor the uneventful, who would “i” really be? What if “i” is stripped of the status, the fame and the fortune, what would be left for “SELF” to see?
Who am I?
Life – The Ego Mind
Last night I got thinking about the meaning of life. Many thoughts ran through my head, a lot of questions that started with why.
Why do some people grasp the idea of life while others dwell on the past or dream about the future? Why do some people focus their attention to the next best thing? Why do some people live life through a brick wall? Why are some people afraid to voice their opinion? Why do some people feel another persons needs exceed the needs of their own? Why do some people live in self-inflicted misery?
So many questions left unanswered in so many lives – People like you and me living life hanging onto a thread, anticipating what tomorrow will bring, dwelling over days past, or living in self-inflicted misery… Why I ask?
Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power Of Now speak about the ego mind, how to become present with one, to be, to accept was is, but many find it difficult to grasp the concept of what he speaks.
How does someone become aware of their ego mind – how does someone that has endured child abuse, abandonment, or neglect come to the realization of their ego mind if from childhood they lacked validation and positive reinforcement – validation and positive reinforcement that is a necessity for children, for their development?
The ego is 95% of your actions – The ego is everything you do –The more you fuel a negative ego, the bigger the ego becomes.
Self-inflicted misery – the greater one speaks about his or her misery and worthless life, the stronger the ego, believing that life is worthless. The more you put another person’s needs in front of your own, the great the belief and the feeling that you are insignificant. The more you allow yourself to be muted, the greater the belief that what you have to say is stupid and wrong.
How do any of these individuals learn about the ego mind, learn about what is holding them back? The answer can only be found deep in the soul, buried in the roots of who they believe they are. Who they believe they are based on what they’ve been told about who they are, based on what they have gone through and who they think they need to be because of their past.
Bruno LoGreco Master Life Coach & Mentor
The Ego Mind
The Ego Mind – What is it, and why does it control our existence?
The Ego mind is at play in every aspect of one’s life. Often time people become defensive when they here the word, “EGO” – I don’t have an ego, they say. How could you imply I’m egotistical – I’m a nice person, I’m down to earth, I’m caring, I’m open and honest, and I give to everybody. I am not egotistical.
The Ego mind is more than a high sense of self. True, the word “Ego” is commonly used to describe ones sense of self-importance, experience, or materialism, but Ego, it is in everything we do and think. Ego is comprised of both body and soul.
The Ego is engrained in our psyche, Ego is who we are whether we are consciously or unconsciously aware, the Ego exists in every aspect of our everyday life from how we engage with others, the multiple roles we play, (mother, father, siblings, professional title, etc.) to what we become identified to, places, people, and things.
“I” the subject or object of self-consciousness; The Ego. The “I” or self of any person; I as thinking, feeling, and willing, distinguishing itself from the selves of others and objects.
• I can’t believe I was treated that way
• I am offended you would think that of me
• I’m a father
• I’m a mother
• I’m a VP
• Those are my belongings
• That is my house
• That is my car
How often do you catch yourself uttering the words, “Trust me” or “ Believe me”? Why should anybody trust and believe you? Doesn’t everybody have their own ability to think and experience life through their own eyes? Why is your trust or belief far more important than another person’s experience? And what happens when they don’t trust or believe you? Are you hurt, offended? Is your ego bruised because they didn’t trust or believe you?
What happens when the economy is on the brinks of a recession and you lose your job? You and thousands others are searching for a job. Those that are fortunate will settle for what they could find to make ends meet, but you – you have become identified to your last role, the role of a Vice President, but there is no Vice President roles available in the market. What do you do? Do you settle for a new role maybe a Director or Manager, or is that beneath you?
What happens when someone takes something away from you, a personal item, or maybe someone destroyed your vehicle, or broke into your home and stole your personal possessions that you are attached to. How do you feel? Do you become enraged, full of anger?
The Ego mind is everything you do, you could deny it, but the fact of the matter is your Ego could work against you if you have no sense of self, or it could work for you if you if you become aware of it.
The ego mind is very powerful – Life Coaching could be the key to unlocking your self-awareness.
Do You Have Control Over The Uncontrollable?
The end of another week is near and the weekend will soon be here. Last week I wrote about how Friday’s were once “me” days, meaning Friday’s were my day off. I am proud to say that as of October 1st, I will no longer be working on Friday’s. I’m taking Friday’s off so I could have two consecutive days for self, and so that I don’t fall out of balance.
Earlier today I was with a client and we were working on self-awareness. I am very happy to report that he has come a long way from when we first started. If I had to complete a report card on his learning it would read “Excellent” throughout the entire report.
One of the areas we are focusing on is his need to control the things he has no control over. The need he has to feel responsible to try and fix problems that are beyond his power, his authority or responsibility. The need he has to try and make everything “perfect” in his life and that of others, and to try and control every aspect of life so that nothing goes “wrong.”
He asked me today if he could learn how to let go of control over the things he has no control over. Of course you can, I said. I continued by saying, “if it took you this many years to seek help because you recognized you needed to make some changes about self to get you to where you want to go, what makes you think you could change somebody that did not ask for your help, or control something that is not yours?” His eyes lit up.
Imagine that, his entire life he’s believed that he has the power and the authority, because after all he is responsible for all the individuals and situations in the world around him, that he could change everything. Talk about an EGO trip… Wouldn’t you say?
Oh I’m sorry – I’m not talking about you… or you. I’m talking about my client that I was with earlier today. But hey… if this sounds like you then chances are my client is not alone and neither are you. We all try to control the things that are out of our control to some degree, but the good news is: now that you are aware that you try to control the things you have no control over, you might consider changing that behavior or learn how to become more accepting to avoid disappointment.
But before I show you how to let go of control over the things you have no control over, I should point out that if you are skipping this process and figure you are better off learning how to just become more accepting… Well guess what? One of the benefits of letting go of control is learning acceptance to what is often referred to as, “It is what it is” without walking away from a situation and not really accepting anything but uttering the words in your head.
Exercise: Letting Go Of Control Over the Things You Have No Control Over
1. On a piece of paper write everything you would like to control but have no control over:
a. People
b. Places
c. Situations
2. Next to each person, place or situation, write why you have no control over it.
3. Answer the following questions for each person, place or situation you have no control over:
a. I think I could keep trying to control and/or change a person, place or situation because _______.
b. The benefits I get from holding onto the need to control and/or change a person, place or situation is ______.
c. I would lose _______ by hanging on to my need to control and/or change _______.
d. I would lose ______ by releasing the need to control ________.
Bruno LoGreco Master Life Coach, Toronto native.
Should I or Shouldn’t I?
Should I or Shouldn’t I?
Sometimes our Egos will get the better part of us and we will do things we shouldn’t do. Or should we?
I’m often asked if there were one life tip I could impart on anyone that could make a huge difference in his or her life, what would it be? My answer is: Learn how to drive the vehicle you are in. We are all traveling in the same direction through life in our own vehicles. It’s a one-way path going forward, there is no turning back, not for anyone. You could sit back and enjoy the ride and wait to see where it takes you, but if you are not careful, you might end up at a dead end, and remember it’s a one-way path, or you could turn-off and check out a new life path along the way. All you have to do is plan which paths you want to explore and turn-off when they are in sight.
When you begin to explore new paths, newer paths will begin to emerge along your journey. What we often fail to remember is that each one of us is in our own vehicle making our own decisions based on our life path. At times you will be encountered by people that will tell you, you have no business going down a specific path, because they don’t think it’s part of your life path. Don’t allow these people to think for you, or eventually you will be sitting in the passenger seat in their vehicle, through their life. If you feel it in you, and the desire and want is burning at you to travel down and explore a path, don’t let anyone stop you.
On a path I traveled not to long ago, I learned some incredible and extremely invaluable information. I’m an explorer by nature and love testing theories, so it was only natural for me to want to test what I learned on my website, http://www.brunologreco.com. I was very eager to test my theories, but the vehicles that was in very close range, believed I was on the wrong path and begged me to turn-off. I didn’t listen. I shouted back, “I’ll drive my vehicle, you drive your vehicle.” I’m glad I didn’t listen. The theories proved correct, and today, I enjoy the benefits.
Life Coach Toronto Bruno LoGreco
