Accepting Oneself, The Values & Strengths That Define Self Image
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely” ~ Carl Gustav Jung
Why is it difficult for many of us to accept ourselves? Why would most of us rather assume the identity others believe of us than appreciate all that we are?
Read More »Midlife “Crisis”
The term “midlife crisis” was coined in 1965 by Elliot Jaques to describe a period of self-doubt in the middle years of life. Studies show 15% of adults experience the effects of midlife crisis. It generally happens between the ages of 40 and 60 when life comes to a crossroad and you are forced to make serious decisions.
Core Values – The Backbone of Self
The backbone of the Self is formed by your core values. These are the things you believe are true and worthwhile, and when you are in harmony with the Universe these beliefs become the basic nouns, verbs, and adjectives that combine to describe you and how you live your life.
Goals worthwhile achieving take time patience and commitment
So its 7 days into the New Year and I am well on way to achieving my goals. How about you, did you start working towards yours?
In my last post It’s a Brand New Year I listed 4 goals I will be working towards this year. Actually, one of them – Finish Book, has been an ongoing goal for the past 5 years. I tried to write it a number of times but failed every time. Okay, maybe I didn’t fail. Let me rephrase that. I did not have all the components to finish writing it – not until this past summer. So every time I tried to put it together in the past it never made sense. After reading each version I’d ask myself if I would buy the book and my answer was “No.”
This past summer while working with a colleague on a docu-series I was asked to describe the system I use to help clients to overcome self-defeating and negative behavior. I began explaining the process to him assuming he already had an understanding of awareness. He’s a filmmaker whose attention to detail is incredible and reminded me that people don’t know what I know about awareness and I shouldn’t assume they do, and asked me to explain the process in detail. I proceeded to illustrate the process, how I take clients through the journey of self-discovery. The tools I use to uncover root causes to negative behavior. How I unlock their true identity and natural strengths and use those to plan for the future. Being able to spit out those words and illustrating the process for somebody else to visualize in detail was the inspiration I needed for the book and for the birth of Tri-Commitment to Success, my workshop. This was the meeting that needed to happen for me to finish putting the book together.
Sometimes ideas take a long time to come to fruition. Some people have a dream and get all the inspiration they need to produce something amazing the morning after, while other people get inspired by experiences but need several of them over a period of time to produce something amazing. Everyone is different. Personally, it takes me a long time to produce something. It has taken 5 years and counting to write the book and 1 year to produce the workshop
A tip I often leave clients is that nothing worthwhile is easy to achieve nor does it happen overnight. Just think back to when you got your driver’s license. You had to go through a process to get it – drivers permit and then take drivers ed perhaps a had to go through a graduated licensing program. But when you finally did get your full license you were free and independent and unless you break the law or have health issues, it’s yours for life.
Now I am months away from the final manuscript. And less than 2 months to the launch of Tri-Commitment to Success. Both were goals worthwhile pursuing and well worth the journey.
Did you carry over a goal from last year?
“Aha! I tricked you into believing you’re not good enough…"
“Aha! I tricked you. I tricked you into believing that you’re not good enough and that you don’t have what it takes to make it. And you fell for it! Aha!!!”
Express the true you
“Don’t chase anything, just do whatever expresses your true self”
I haven’t met anyone who hasn’t chased an ideal or lifestyle. The lure of something better is attractive. It could suck anybody up, instantly.
I am fortunate because my internal radar tells me when I’m chasing something. It sends me warnings, and if I don’t listen it could turn into anxiety. Sometimes I get confused between chasing and following a lead that seems right. I follow leads all the way until I get to the end even if it doesn’t feel right. I have a hard time distinguishing between a “wrong turn” and “giving up.” But then again maybe I’m suppose to take those wrong turns, even when it doesn’t feel right…
The feeling I get on those rare but intense occasions when a wrong turn turns into a web of wrong turns and I can’t find my way out, it stirs the inside of my soul and spins it upside down. That ‘s what it feels like when I am totally off the beaten path. Unfortunately, it’s also when I realize a core value is in conflict.
The question I often ask myself when I find myself lost and filled with conflict is: What must I do to make it out of the maze and back onto the right path? STOP, become aware, remember the vision and make it a mission to navigate towards it. Continue to do those things, which are inspiring. Write about them and help improve the lives with articles, e-books, blog, workshops and seminars, and enjoy the rewards that come with it but never chase something that creates a conflict in a core value.
Bruno LoGreco Life Coach, Toronto Mentor & Motivational Speaker
