Midlife “Crisis”

The term “midlife crisis” was coined in 1965 by Elliot Jaques to describe a period of self-doubt in the middle years of life. Studies show 15% of adults experience the effects of midlife crisis. It generally happens between the ages of 40 and 60 when life comes to a crossroad and you are forced to make serious decisions.

Many of us believe that only people in midlife can experience a crisis but that isn’t necessarily true, even young adults experience it. In fact, there are eight crises that all of us will experience throughout life according to psychologist Erik Erikson.

What triggers a midlife “crisis”?

Let’s forget about the word “midlife” for a moment and focus only on the word “crisis.” The dictionary defines a crisis as a time of intense difficulty, trouble or danger.

Studies suggest a lack of fulfillment in personal and professional life, physical changes associated with aging, loss, marital affair, career, and regrets or a combination of these can trigger a crisis.

Becoming of age and entering adulthood can be a dramatic experience for some people leading to a crisis. Most young adults lack experience to meet the expectations of adulthood so they find themselves at a crossroad. They either acquire the experience through trial and error (e.g., learn the skills needed to be able to take responsibility for life) or avoid change for fear of failure and go on with life without accountability to Self.

Taking inventory of whom you have become compared to your core values can also trigger a crisis if the two lists are at opposite ends.

Characteristics and feelings of a crisis include:

·     Longing for something more – An unimaginable desire for fulfillment

·     Regret and narrow virtuosity

Looking backward at life with regret and narrow virtuosity won’t get you out of the crisis, what will get you out of it is feeling purposeful and fulfilled. Here’s how:

1.       It’s never too late to change your life path. Take life’s adversity and use it to affect positive change in the world. Allow the learning lessons to guide you into taking better and wiser decisions for the future.

2.       Fulfill your passion. Align your identity with core values. Having an unvarnished view of who you are and expressing what is important to you will lead to fulfillment.

3.       Talk to someone. Don’t be ashamed to open up and talk to someone about your feelings and life path. Sometimes just knowing someone else understands your state of mind can be enough to get you moving forward again.

A crisis is a time for reflection and redirection, a time to explore and to fulfill your needs, a time to find meaning in whatever you choose to increase life satisfaction. To do so it requires honor of one Self. Otherwise, you move on with life without the lessons of each crisis and will soon become a statistic.