New Year Resolutions by Life Coach Ivana Pejakovic
Knowing how rarely New Year Resolutions are successful, is it even worth setting new resolutions this year?
DEFINITELY…if you set the right ones!
In the past, you may have found yourself somewhat confused when it comes to picking goals (and many times you may not have even realized you were confused…instead, you labelled yourself as ‘unmotivated’!). Over time you even learned it is easier to just borrow another person’s resolution if you can’t come up with your own (unbeknownst to you, this person most likely borrowed that same resolution from someone else!). The following year, you found yourself as lost as the year before so you decided to recycle last year’s resolutions…no point on totally giving up on it just because it didn’t work out the first (3) time(s) around!
Year after year, you robotically used this formula (or a similar one) to help you chose your resolutions! On occasion you found yourself successful but for some reason were left feeling disappointed or deflated. Recently, you have given up on New Year’s Resolutions…after all how many more failures and disappointments can you take?
There is a solution!
Believe it or not there is a science behind picking goals. OK…so maybe not a ‘science’ but definitely a process. If you want to approach your goals with desire and enthusiasm you must pick goals that are MEANINGIFUL to you. The goals you pick must stir your positive emotions and excite you into working towards them. This process helps you choose goals based on your individuality by taking into consideration your values, needs, strengths, and interests (so no more borrowing other people’s goals!).
While you may have developed an ambivalent attitude towards New Year’s resolutions, the New Year is actually an excellent time to make changes in your life. The start of the New Year creates freshness in your mind motivating you to create changes. Psychologically, the new calendar year is symbolic of a new beginning of life. It’s really a powerful analogy!
This year, ditch the borrowed or recycled resolutions and pick them based on your individuality. After you read the 4 criteria, take a few minutes to write down your resolutions from the past 5 years or so. How did you come up with your previous resolutions? Why did you pick them? Were your previous resolutions in line with your values, strengths, and needs? If your new resolutions to match your individuality, you will find greater success!
- Personal interests: Chances are you usually set goals that are ‘serious.’ They are work related, money related, education related, health related, etc. Without a doubt getting your finances in order is important. Updating your education to help you with your career is essential. Health? Do I need to even mention its importance? Serious goals, however, create wear and tear on your body and mind. It’s important to balance your serious goals with goals that reflect your other interests, including music, art, sports, etc. Goals you’ll ENJOY doing and goals that will create balance in your life.
- Core Values: What is truly important to you? Values are beliefs or activities that are meaningful to you. When values guide your goals they energize and rejuvenate you. This positive energy is then translated into success and physical and mental well-being. Goals that do not take your values into consideration or go against your values system have a negative effect on your overall well-being and don’t lead to meaningful achievement.
- Strengths: What are you good at? Do your goals typically involve improving your weaknesses, covering up your weaknesses, thinking about your weaknesses, or discussing your weaknesses? You may feel like you are constantly trying to bring your weaknesses up to the level of your strengths. The result? You don’t get a chance to really develop your strengths and you end up being mediocre on many levels. Take your strengths into account when setting goals so you can truly see how high you can fly.
- Needs: You have needs beyond food, shelter, and water. Psychological needs such as solitude, feeling needed, need for power, or to be acknowledged are part of your mental and physical health. Of course the requirement for such needs is individual and as such you need to recognize which ones are important to you so you can honour them. It is OK to have these needs as long as you know your self-worth is not dependant on any of them. Pick goals that will meet your psychological needs. It will motivate you.
Best Wishes to You in the New Year and Always!
Ivana Pejakovic, Life Coach in Toronto
